


Run Away With Me

by rw_eaden



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety, Drug Use, Fluff, Incest, M/M, Mentions of past domestic violence, Multi, No Smut, Recreational Drug Use, Running Away, Twincest, Wanderlust, implied but not shown, ish, mentions of past childhood trauma, seriously kinda dark stuff mentioned only in passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 07:38:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7926232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rw_eaden/pseuds/rw_eaden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy hasn't been acting himself recently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Run Away With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the SPN rare ships challenge  
> Inspired by Somewhere in Neverland by All Time Low

“Do you believe in God, Dean?” Jimmy asked.

Dean sputtered, coughing on the thick smoke as he inhaled. He took a moment to catch his breath and pulled the glass pipe away from his mouth. “You know I don’t, Jim,” he said, before lighting the contents of the glass bowl in his fingers once again.

“Oh,” Jimmy said, barely above a sigh. Dean inhaled, pulling smoke into his lungs before passing the pipe to Cas, seated on Jimmy’s right. Jimmy had been laying between Dean and Cas, his head pillowed on his twin’s thigh, staring vacantly up at the night sky. The three of them were sitting out on the back porch of the tiny house they shared just off campus, nursing a few beers and getting high, talking about anything and everything. They always did this little ritual after big events. The cause for this little celebration was the end of term. The final end of term for all three of them. In the next few days, Dean’s uncle and brother and Cas and Jimmy’s aunt would come out to see them graduate.

After taking a drag from what must’ve been a whole minute, he gestured for Jimmy to take it. Jimmy just raised a hand and waved it off. Cas startled, handing the pipe back to Dean, who set it on the wood next to his thigh.

“Alright, Jimmy, what’s up?” Dean asked, leaning back on his hands.

Jimmy shrugged as Cas blew smoke into the air.

“Yeah, I don’t buy that,” Dean said. “What’s on your mind?”

“He’s been this way for weeks,” Cas said, brushing his fingers through Jimmy’s carefully coifed hair, “He won’t talk to me either.”

Dean set his hand against Jimmy’s calf, shaking him. “Seriously dude, what did we say about communication? If I gotta, you gotta, too.”

Jimmy gave a slanted little half smile, finally dragging his gaze away from the cloudy night sky and locking eyes with Dean. “It’s nothing,” he said.

Cas scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Seriously!” Jimmy protested, now scowling up at Cas.

Now that Dean was thinking about it, Jimmy really hadn’t been acting like himself recently. Usually he was much more upbeat than Cas was, often competing with Dean to see who could make worse puns and lame jokes just to irritate Cas. And he hadn’t really felt up to going out in public with Dean and Cas. The three of them usually kept their relationship on the down low in public, keeping to light, barely there touches and kissing only when no one was around to see. It wasn’t that they were ashamed of what they had been doing, in fact, Dean was happier than he had been in years with both Novak twins as his boyfriends. It was that relationships like theirs were exactly typical, especially since Cas and Jimmy were twins.

But Jimmy hadn’t wanted to go out much. He had also been much less touchy-feely than he usually was, and Jimmy was a freaking octopus when they cuddled up on the couch or in bed. And come to think about it, Jimmy never mentioned religion unless…

Dean cleared his throat, and Cas turned his head. He squinted at Cas, frowning and casting his gaze down to Jimmy. Cas just squinted back, his lip curling upward in a weird grimace. Dean huffed, shaking his head, and frowned, his eyebrows knitting together. Usually they were good at this kind of silent communication. Fuck, pot was great but it sure made actually talking about stuff a whole lot harder.

“Jimmy, you’re full of shit. Now spill,” Dean said.

“Seriously, it’s nothing,” Jimmy said.

“So there is something,” Cas chimed in.

“Okay, fine, but there’s nothing serious,” Jimmy said.

“Right, because you never mention religion unless it’s something serious,” Dean found out early on that the topic of God was a sore spot for the Novaks. They had grown up Evangelical, in a household that stressed obedience to God above all else. That was until their father snapped, raving about demons and monsters and killed their mother and then himself. Cas and Jimmy were adopted by their aunt, who was just as strict, but much less interested in God. Whenever either one of them mentioned God it meant something was wrong.

Jimmy rolled his eyes and huffed. “Alright, well you two aren’t gonna leave me alone, so I guess, whatever.” He sat up, resting his weight on his elbows.

“I’ve just been thinking, like, is this all there is?”

“What do you mean?” Cas asked.

“I mean is this all there is. We’re graduating in a few days. So then what? Do we just…keep doing what we’re doing? Here in fucking nowhere Kansas? Or do we grow up now and move on and get married and have kids and work until we die? And then what? Are we just…dead? Lights out? Show’s over? Or are we all going straight to Hell?”

Fuck. This was way heavier than Dean was equipped to deal with right now. Cas must’ve been thinking the same thing, because he leaned over both Dean and Jimmy to snatch the pipe and take another drag.

“Do you want to get married, Jimmy?” Cas asked, after exhaling.

Jimmy rolled his eyes. “Please. No place is gonna let me marry two guys, let alone my own brother.”

“So what are you saying, Jim?” Dean asked.

Jimmy sighed, letting himself drop backwards into Cas’s lap. “I don’t fucking know!” He grumbled, throwing his hands over his face.

Dean leaned over, running his hand over Jimmy’s side. He didn’t have anything of substance to offer. He didn’t think too much about the future. He’d just figured he’d cross that bridge when he go there.

Cas doubled over, pressing a small kiss to Jimmy’s hands. “Let’s run away.”

Jimmy pulled his hands away from his face, staring up at his brother like he had just suggested killing the pope. “What the Hell are you talking about, Cas?”

“We could. Remember, when we were kids we used to talk about it all the time. We could do it now. Just the three of us. We’ll go anywhere you want, Jimmy.”

Jimmy let out a harsh chuckle. “We did that, Cas. That’s what college was all about, remember? We can’t just stay away from the real world forever, we gotta grow up.”

Cas snorted. “Says who?”

“Well, what are we supposed to do? I’ve got five bucks in my bank account. And you majored in Studio Art for fuck sakes. How would we take care of ourselves? Are we gonna hustle pool or something?”

Cas shrugged and Jimmy pulled himself up into a seated position. He tucked his knees into his chest, and rested his chin in the valley between his knees. He sighed, dark hair falling down over his eyes.

“I just, I don’t know guys. I’m just in a weird place, right now,” Jimmy said.

Dean scooted closer, throwing an arm around his shoulder and pulling him close. Jimmy didn’t resist, but he didn’t relax into the touch either. Dean had just started rocking the two of them back and forth when Jimmy pushed his arm away and stood up.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed guys. I’ll see you when you get to bed,” he said, before walking back into the house, letting the screen door clatter behind him.

Neither Cas nor Dean said anything for a while. Instead, Dean let himself lay back onto the porch, listening to the sharp chirp of crickets in the distance. He let himself float on the drugs that slowed his thoughts and made his thoughts cloudy. Cas wound up next to him, stroking his fingertips up and down Dean’s wrist. Dean’s skin buzzed ever so slightly at the contact. He was tempted to just lay there all night in silence, staring up at the sky and enjoying the warmth and comfort of the high. He almost let himself, but he couldn’t let himself sink into it.

“Is Jimmy gonna be okay?” Dean asked, nudging Cas with his shoulder.

Cas sighed, running his hand through his hair. “He does this sometimes. When he gets stressed or freaked out.”

“How long has he been doing that?” Dean asked.

“Since we were kids.”

“Damn,” Dean sighed, “so what do we do about it?”

“Love him anyway?”

“Well duh, but how do we get him to snap out of it?”

Cas huffed, turning his head towards Dean, “If I knew, I would’ve done it by now.”

Dean rolled his eyes, then cast a glare over to Cas. “Were you serious about running away?”

Cas shrugged. “Why not? It’s not like we’ve got anything important going on here. We need to look for a new place at the end of the month anyway. Might as well just wonder for a while.”

“Where would we go?”

“Who the fuck cares?”

Dean sighed, watching the blinking green lights of a passing plane drift across the night sky. “I hear Portland is nice.”

~~~

Jimmy’s mood did not improve over the next few days. If anything, he seemed to get a little worse. He tried to fake a few laughs here and there but there was something off about him. He was much more active, too. The three of them didn’t have much in the way of clothes or appliances or nick-knacks, both Dean and Cas preferred to keep their possessions functional and limited, but what they did have excess of was packed in boxes by the end of the week. Jimmy had also started cleaning everything, which was nice but completely unusual, as Dean was usually the one who took care of the house. After the cleaning and the packing, he moved on to weeding the dirt in the backyard.

It was after Cas found Jimmy on his knees in the dirt, pulling goat heads out of the ground that he and Dean finally resolved to do something about it. Between the two of them, they had a car, about $1500 in savings, and no more patience.

They set their plan in motion the night after graduation. The three of them had to play nice with Cas and Jimmy’s aunt through dinner, which was a task that should’ve gotten them all nominated for sainthood, and afterwards Dean took his place in the driver’s seat of the Impala and drove.

About thirty minutes past their former residence, Jimmy spoke up. “Where are we going?” He asked from the backseat.

“I dunno,” Dean said.

“Okay…”

Jimmy didn’t say anything until the crossed Manhattan city limits. “Seriously, guys where are we going?”

“Not a clue,” Cas said. “Anywhere you want to go?”

“This isn’t funny guys. Seriously, what the hell?”

“We’re running away,” Dean said.

Jimmy made a strangled, squawking noise. “You’re serious?”

“As a heart attack,” Cas said.

“But what about all our stuff? What about the security deposit? What about…”

“Jimmy, chill. All the essentials are in the trunk. Landlord’s gonna keep the deposit, probably. Considering we abandoned the lease,” Dean said.

“But…but…but…” he stuttered, “this is…it’s insane. We can’t just leave! We just…we…what?”

Cas reached over the back seat, patting Jimmy’s hand. “Chill out. We’ll figure it out when we figure it out.”

Jimmy stayed quiet for the rest of the night.

~~~

Jimmy seemed to warm up to the idea sometime after the visited the Grand Canyon. At first, Dean was concerned he was tempted to push them both over the edge, but after they climbed out of the car at sunrise he relaxed, staring out over the craggy earth with an easy smile. The soft pink light of the morning sun washed over him, bringing the glow back to his cheeks that Dean hadn’t even realized he’d been missing.

“So, we’re really doing this then?” He asked staring at the horizon.

“Mmhmm,” Cas hummed, lacing his fingers through Jimmy’s.

“For how long?” Jimmy asked.

“Maybe for a few more weeks. Cas has an apprenticeship at a tattoo parlor in San Diego lined up, so it’s not as forever of a deal as we made it out to be,” Dean said.

Jimmy glared at him and shook his head. “You’re both assholes,” he said, but there wasn’t any heat behind it.

“Yeah, but we’re your assholes,” Dean said, nudging Jimmy with his shoulder.

Jimmy chuckled and let his head fall against Dean’s shoulder. “You think we could do this again sometime? Just, run away every once in a while.”

“Anytime you want,” Cas said.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this isn't my best work but it's out there so I hope you enjoyed it. Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://rosemoonweaver.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Also, this is probably a really bad way of dealing with someone who has anxieties so I wouldn't suggest doing it.


End file.
